The Exciting Escapades of Douglas Morgan
Episode 12: The German Exchange

Featuring: Douglas Morgan
Julian Joseph
Thomas Campbell
And the rest

Upon the date of the twenty-third of the month of May, if my memory serves me correctly, the German exchange party set out upon an EPIC ADVENTURE to go to Germany. They boarded a flight to Cologne using an aircraft of the German Wings line. When this group of brave, intrepid Britons, half-Britons and quarter-Britons (not to mention that American chap and the French chap) landed at Cologne airport, they were taken aboard a bus and driven to Münstermaifeld. Along the way, many interesting games and conversations took place, including this one between Douglas Morgan and Thomas Campbell: D. Morgan: You’re not nervous are you? T. Campbell: Shut up. (Further, unrepeatable lines were uttered by the pair, remarking on each other’s parentage, habits and private life in general.) The bus pulled up at the Münstermaifeld School. The German partners were present with their families to greet their counterparts. The Germans and their partners departed for home. The next day, everyone met up at school. The Scottish exchange party was formally recognised to be in existence by the deputy head teacher. Then, the party were sent to be subjected to the wild ways of the German pupils (which included shutting the Latin teacher out of the classroom). Later, there was a rally around the town by the British party. The next day, the exchange party set off to walk to Burg Eltz, a castle in der Nähe von Münstermaifeld (near Münstermaifeld). It was a large and elegant structure: the historian of the team, D. Morgan, noted that the castle was also in a strategic position, and well defended. After the party got back, their partners took them to the outdoor swimming pool. Many seemed to experience slight problems: T. Campbell: I think I’m getting pneumonia, I’m so cold. D. Morgan: Then stop going down that slide! T. Campbell: $*! #@, I’m going back in. (Runs back to pool) D. Morgan (shouting after him): Don’t come crying to me when you DIE!!! In the end, they both got sunburn. On Saturday, the Germans and their partners went to the station and took the train to Bonn. The party was taken on a tour of the house of the renowned composer, Ludwig van Beethoven. Then they were given two hours to walk around Bonn in small groups. Some pupils got hold of some helium balloons … J. Joseph: I know, let’s inhale the helium from these balloons and we’ll have funny squeaky voices! D. Morgan: Okay then. Get two balloons; they’re giving them out for free.

(Julian gets two balloons from the stall.) J. Joseph: Okay, here goes. (Breathes in helium.) D. Morgan: Well? J. Joseph (in hilariously squeaky, high pitched voice): Hello Douglas. (Bursts into fits of laughter.) D. Morgan: My turn. (Inhales the helium. In a squeaky, high pitched voice:) Hi, I’m Douglas Morgan, and you are watching Brainiac! J. Joseph: I wish we could hear THOMAS on helium! On Sunday, the exchange pupils did stuff with their guest families. In the evening, some of them (with their guest families) went to a restaurant owned by the father of one of the German partners. They had hung a Scottish flag on the wall to celebrate the exchange. The food was very good, and one of the German partners, Alex, almost set a bush alight, and tried to saw through a branch which Douglas Morgan was standing on.

On Monday, the team set off to the Rhine. After a gondola ride, long walk, and chairlift ride, they were finally able to board a boat that took them up the Rhine. They were then allowed free time to wander through the small town they were in. Douglas Morgan, Julian Joseph and Thomas Campbell had the ill-luck to find themselves in a group which ended up in a McDonalds. Did I mention it was pouring with rain ALL DAY? On Tuesday, the Scottish expeditionary farce went to another part of the Rhine to do some rowing. One boat was almost run down by a steamer coming down the Rhine! In the evening, there was a barbecue for all who took part in this year’s German exchange. On Wednesday, the British party bid farewell to their hosts and travelled to Cologne airport. They then flew back to Edinburgh and returned home. Douglas was to have the last word in this escapade … D. Morgan: Crikey! What an adventure! One group went to a German McDonalds, which is no better than a British version. How could they have done such a thing?! Revolting! Next Time, on The Exciting Escapades of Douglas Morgan: ‘The Dutch Wedding’ — You’d be MAD to miss it!
Douglas Morgan

Madrid

Mr and Mrs Clearie must have been apprehensive as they accompanied the seniors to the Spanish capital! To ensure that no bad luck followed us around, we were arranged into safety groups for inter-student support during the busy and crammed (especially with the size of my suitcase!) metro journey. After we finally managed to haul our luggage through the station and up the stairs, we emerged at the heart of the vibrant and beautiful Madrid.

Our hotel couldn’t have been more ideally located, a two-minute walk from the centre. After familiarising ourselves with all the main landmarks in the area, such as the Plaza Mayor and the Plaza de Espana, Mr Clearie kindly allowed us the freedom to wander (and shop!). We quickly felt at home, taking ‘paseos’ around the city to see sights such as the El Templo de Debod, El Corte Inglés and the St Miguel market. Boating on the lake in El Retiro park was fun.

We did, of course, fit culture into our itinerary, visiting the Royal Palace, the Prado and Reina Sofia Galleries, and the El Rastro flea market, spending a day in the medieval town of Segovia and, of course, eating authentic paella and tapas – even octopus! The artists of the group spent afternoons in the sun sketching in the Plaza Mayor with coffee whilst the boys proudly strutted around in their kilts creating havoc with the Spanish chicas who blushed (but more often giggled!) at their Scottish attire. A fantastic five days, and a true taste of Spain.